Allison Morrow, for CNN: the SpaceX IPO prospectus is a beach read, if your beach is governed by the Securities Act of 1933 and your idea of fun is watching a man grade his own homework.

Musk controls 85% of the shareholder vote, according to the filing, which means he’d have to vote to fire himself.

That line alone tells you what kind of offering this is. Not a company inviting scrutiny — a vehicle for capital with a single driver who also drew the map.

The rest of the filing is worse, and more honest, than the pitch deck crowd wants to admit. The board tied a billion restricted shares to two milestones: a $7.5 trillion market cap and a permanent Martian colony of one million people. Mars appears sixty-three times in the document, including under executive compensation. Orbital AI data centers by 2028. A lunar economy. Human augmentation systems. Then, in a section called “Our Challenges,” SpaceX admits many of these depend on technology that does not exist and may never achieve commercial viability.

Meanwhile the numbers on Earth are plain. Nearly five billion dollars lost last year. Another $4.3 billion gone in the first quarter. xAI — folded in via merger — lost $6.4 billion while spending more on capital projects than the rocket division. And tucked in the related-party line items: $700 million on Tesla Megapacks and $131 million on Cybertrucks. The public markets are being asked to fund a Mars colony fantasy with cash siphoned from the electric pickup nobody wants.

I’m not saying don’t buy the IPO. I’m saying read the S-1. It already told you the joke.